What The Fox Is Happening
A roundup of everything notably unhinged that happened Thursday.
Former Prince Andrew Is DONE.
Former Prince Andrew — yes, former, because when your brand becomes Jeffrey Epstein’s BFF, the palace revokes the title — was arrested and then released yesterday.
Consider him royally screwed.
He’s the first senior royal arrested in nearly 400 years, which is quite the achievement in a family tree that has seen their share of shenanigans.
Police are reviewing whether he shared sensitive info with Jeffrey Epstein. Andrew denies everything, of course. But we’ve all seen that photo of him on all fours over a redacted girl on the floor.
Vatican Will Not Join the Board of Peace
The Vatican has officially RSVP’d “no ❤️” to Trump’s self-appointed “Board of Peace,” which he plans to chair indefinitely.
Pope Leo XIV, the first American pontiff, declined, suggesting that maybe the United Nations should handle international crises like it’s literally designed to do.
Are We Going to War with Iran?
Amidst the Iranian protests in which roughly 30,000 civilians have been killed by the regime, Trump has said he’ll decide on military action within “10 to 15 days.” That is the diplomatic equivalent of “lemme circle back.” Meanwhile, sources say the US could strike as early as right now.
Love the suspense!
South Korea’s Ex-Prez Gets Life for 2024 Martial Law Stunt
Former South Korean president Yoon Suk Yeol just got life in prison for the martial law stunt he pulled in December 2024 when he tried to override his political opponents by sending soldiers in helicopters to storm parliament. It lasted six chaotic hours.
Turns out “I was just trying to make a point” doesn’t really fly when the point involves an insurrection.
It’s wild how in some countries, that comes with prison time, and in ours it comes with a reelection and a $70m vanity documentary of your wife produced by Amazon.